Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Words to the songs from Knockout Hits
Late for work again
Hit the snooze bar
Jump right out of bed
Grab a coffee on the way you know
I'm late for work again
Late for work again
Late for work again
Step in to work
Boss is yelling at me
I don't need this
Today's my last day I quit
Late for work again
Late for work again
Gibbering fool
I'm just a gibbering fool
27 and drumming
Sometimes it's hard to find the right words you know it feel like your just strumming
I did some things that I wish I didn't but I wouldn't trade me for nothing
Got to let go give your John Henry take the business end of this and shock up the world
Sometimes the rain comes down and it makes me feel like crying
"These are the best of years of our lives"
In summertime I sweat like a bastard
Ohuu the days and years of our lives
As a small child I liked smiling I liked doing the things the things that a small child does
Always fishing and frying
I'd dive deep in the water swimming around like a little boy and I'm already afraid of dying
Ever feel like ever feel ever feel like lying
There's a small mind
Take your time
Open up and grow
Sometimes the rain comes down and it makes me feel like frying
"Baked pork and sausages and ham"
In summertime I can sweat like a bastard
Ohuu the days and years of our lives
I got 4 tracks, I got 4 tracks
And I'm going to record
I got 4 tracks, I got 4 tracks
And I'm going to record
Because you take your time and you think it over and then you get back on the microphone
and then you shock it up and then you go on home and then you think to your self well that
was good and I feel blessed and never ever feel like dying there's a small mind take your
time open up and grow.Time to Shock
K9 was a kid with a tender mind
Tried to rap but had no rhymes
Looked in the dictionary at page 74
Wrote some $#@&^ down and went out the door
SK9 was a friend of mine
Looked like a fool but came in on time
Silly face with a toque to boot
Can't argue with that fashion bag of loot
Looked in the fools mirror and saw self
Peeled a mango that was sitting on the shelf
Box of cereal and a bag of milk
Pulled out a gun and shot an elf
Chorus
Rock and roll band and a drummer
Down at the shockcenter
Rock and roll band and a drummer
Down at the shockcenter
2-sticks
Surrounded by Patch Cables
I heard it in a dream
Not colours just black and white
It was silent for a long time
Then Violent voices broke like bright light
And it was you and you and you were smoking
In the middle of the night
In a boardwalk in a marsh somewhere
I think point Pelee or tiny marsh
Well I'm surrounded
By patch cables
Does a rumor need to be true?
And is the sky necessarily blue?
Ketchup stains your face
Makes your mistress more irate
SILENCE is the sound of nothing
Alone is a point of opinion
Well I'm surrounded
By patch cables
A reunion of ex-farmers
A reunion of ex-farm girls
Common men get in there
Finish the song Well I'm surrounded
Sun Rises
The sun rises in the sky like a bottle of liquor
And in the back of my head she's rising quicker
I go through the day and she smiles on me
I feel like I'm in the desert and there is no shade so I can't get free
The stars in the night are like a beer
Every night they're there every night they're there
I run to my basement with no one around
Maybe then I won't see nothing come shooting down
But every night I meet Orion or is it a bear or a liter named Polaris in a big dipper
Just a little
Not a lotta
Just a littleTerritorial Lynx
Territorial lynx
Non-attentive jackrabbit
Territorial lynx
Ellesmere Island
Polar bear in the streets of
Churchill
Territorial lynx
Territorial lynx
Territorial lynx
Coniferous forest
Scarb Jacket
Cool cool kid making love making music
Do you look good can you play guitar?
Cool cool kid laying pipe in the ditches
Spending all your money on your bitches
You come from surrey
You come from Scarborough
You come from Oshawa Ontario
Cool cool kid skipping out on all your math classes
You got to go out back and kick some asses
Cool cool kid driving around in rusty trans-am
One day you're going to stick it to the man
The Grilled Cheese Experiece
I just got a grilled cheese
I just got a grilled cheese
I just got a grilled cheese
I just got a grilled chills cheese
Thinking of the rhythm but you can't stand the man
You got to kick up go be a rock and roll band
That in the basket proof in the pear
I think you got it but then you don't care
Cause
Grilled cheese
I
Have
Grilled
Cheese
Experience
Well bob how would you rate this grilled cheese?
"Why the cheese is soft in the middle
The edge is crispy, lightly blackened, butter fills the bread
Tastiness treats"
Why don't you play clarinet with a grilled cheese in your mouth?
Deep Fried
Carrots on rice everything's alright you're ok
Deep fried
Yea got to get me some of that
Deep fried
Onion Rings
Deep fried
Like a vo bro in a hotbox
Deep fried
Wally's 40
Carrots are nice everything's alright you're ok
Broccoli with spice everything's alright you're ok
Lentils are good everything's alright you've got food
Deep fried
Yea got to get me some of that
Deep fried
Onion Rings
Deep fried
Like a chimp to a banana
Deep fried
Wally's 40
You've fallen into the trap my friend
Carrots on rice everything's alright you're ok
Rice on lettuce everything's alright you're ok
Lettuce needs sugar just a couple of pounds every day
Broccoli is nice with butter
Chimp on the Ropes
Fly in the ointment that's always said
Take a drink from the glass on the table
Relax and feel and emotion
Peace is a rose in a garden
But that's a subliminal thought
Take a drink from the fountain
Don't push it too hard
Your hands like a weapon when used with the mind
Holding is one of solution
Oh but don't talk of poetry
That #@^$% walks all over me
HOLD ON
TURN AROUND
WE ARE THE INHERITORS
HOLD ON TURN AROUND
WE ARE THE PEACE GENERATION
Drink and always be easy
Why worry about what you can't control
And then its over
Willingdon Junction
My buddy Shockk says let's go for a ride
Out to the train spotting station
Where you can see graffiti on trains like Honest Broadbent for prime minister
The green light is on I'm getting excited
And that's a good thing
I saw a non attentive Jack rabbit from the overpass of the train it was high
Two-Sticks had a snickers bar and he dreamed that it was a beer
The green light is on I'm getting excited
And that's a good thing
Here comes the train
That's a good thing
That's a train thing
Here comes the train
Discography
Last Dance @The Shockcenter
Recorded over the last couple of years Last Dance @ The Shockcenter may be the fang that breaks the bubble for Roadbed. I always wanted to use that line, but i think the occasion may be right this time.
Autopilot... a satire of modern music
The word on the street is that this CD is too short.
If so then the irony is all lost.
Originally to be the last 5 tracks on ROADBED 3. AUTOPILOT is the result of an artist driven band reacting to to a commercial world.
Dr. Juan Kerkackington of the tufted ears learning institute is currently using The Study of Roadbed's Autopilot as a Sociological Phenomenon to teach a core credit course.
Knockout Hits defines Roadbed
Roadbed's second CD release, Knockout Hits set the tone for what Roadbed would sound like. It wasn't as much a sound but rather a framework for the various things that Roadbed do.
The fidelity, the style, and the delivery of the songs is not set in stone.
Roadbed... many bands strive to "move effortlessly from style to style"... and some just do.
REPRESENTED... The long ball that just keeps going
Roadbed's initial CD, Represented (1999), bought the band much respect. A song sensitive delivery, some powerful words "with a tight restricting necktie and he fought like a rhino", and a general pop sensibility made the recording enjoyable to all kinds of music lovers.
The physical CD was released without a cover... an ill fated move that can be best summed up with the idea that the point that it barely made was not worth making in the first place
Nonetheless the songs on that record built and honest and loyal following for the band..
Words to the songs from the Album Repersented
Carolina
Carolina you moved me in casino
Carolina you grooved me black jack table
Wherever you go I will be with you
Whatever you do I will follow?
Carolina you led me to the pillow
Carolina I let you know I'm not yellow
Wherever you go I will be with you
Whatever you do I will follow?
Carolina you led me to myself
Carolina a side I never knew
Wherever you go I will be with you
Whatever you do I will follow?
Lynx
Lynx Great horned
Owl how far can you see?
Wild Coyote long and scruffy
Golden Eagle wingspan 7 feet
Passenger pigeon species gone delete
Several Lakes
Just sit back and kick up your feet
Put on a clinic with the funky beat
And think about nothing,
Think about something
I'm looking out on several lakes
Staking my claim to this place
Pop up the tent in a second
Suck back a sweet drink 11
I'm just afraid
My church is my house where I prey
I lay my tracks down to tape
Get on guitar and go ape
Well I'm shocking back 14 apples
And I'm shocking back 19 sweet drinks
Sitting at home in my place
Feeling the time erase
On the couch by the sleep where
I lay There is a lamp
For reading
Things that I'll never read
Fresh New Vibe
Fresh new vibe you come to me and I'm alive
If I live to rock I'll be happy
N my fresh new vibe
I'm dreaming of something
That I'll probably forget
And I'm making up verses
Cause I'm marcomatic
Fresh new vibe you come to me and I'm alive
If I live like hey rock I'll be happy
On my fresh new vibe
I'm looking at you
And you're sniffing glue
Still I'm listening to you
And I got the sweet sweet blues
Chimp
Hate longs for a point to blame
And it's its own reason why
Love cannot change the world
It sure can help you and I
Point lost made another one
I'm not as laid back as I seem
And all that is around me
Is what I choose to see
I'm tired and I'm getting old
And I got to get out of this place
Hate howls like a hurricane
In a world where some are left behind
Truths hidden by metaphors
Are easy to see with the naked mind
These things are what we make of them
Riding rhythms close to mine
Frustrated Man
Two worlds of difference, so many men
And they took me to a courthouse and they found me a sin
And I stood up and said, will this ever give in
So many us are different all bitten by the end
Not enough common sense you never know your bounds
And they took me to an angel she never knew my name
And I had a brother buddy he did something the same
With a tight restricting necktie and he fought like a rhino
You got to find out what side you're on if you want to play the game
Well many men are different and few do see
That it's not what we represent
But it's who we may be
So none of them are angles
And they busted down the doorway
And they searched the house
And they raped with charges
My Roll
Always never trying you are a weasel
Broke my tire with a broken bottle
I'll smash your axe if you want a duel
Never mind, I don't solo
But if I need to I get the Shockk
Sitting in a chair makes me feel good
Especially with good lumbar support
Still doing is better, and being is better
Dreaming is for wuss ass
A fat lip if you need it
Always try to be real
I think that take was a good one!
The Beggar
The beggar's in the house and he's talking fast
The beggar's got his hands in my hair
The beggar doesn't reason the beggar doesn't care
The beggar is an annoying man
And the beggar can't play skins like these
And the beggar's name is Elroy
And Elroy's in my home
And you can't get blood from a stone
Well I'm mostly annoyed with you just not shutting up
And I'm also annoyed you just don't care
The beggar is a thief with no heir
The beggar talks and needles me
The beggar walks away and he's high like a man
And the beggar comes back and the beggar needles me
And the beggar/ Elroy can't play skins like these
And the Elroy's name is Elroy
And Elroy's in my home
And you can't get blood from a stone
The beggars in the front yard and he's running fast
When I catch that boy I'm gonna put my foot in his ass
The beggars in the street and he's catching his stride
When I catch up I'm gonna commit elroyacide
The beggar hopped in a pickup truck and drove off in the night
Who the %#*&^ is Elroy I'm gonna knock his #*^$ side
Spider Mites
In the summertime when the rain is blue shock back something to do
Spider mites make them feel alright 7 steps off the ground and you're a real man
Nothing ever stopped you from walking backwards with a hat on
Hey would you like to take a ride in my car we will drive the highway again
Hey would you like to take a ride in my car nothing short of friends
At the speed of light you slipped out of sight pulled underwater rushed and turned around
Now you're afraid of reality nothing short of catastrophe
Hey would you like to take a ride in my car we will drive the highway again
Hey would you like to take a ride in my car nothing short of friends
Again Hey would you like to take a ride in my car we will drive the highway again
Hey would you like to take a ride in my car nothing short of friends
Bingo
Sally lives across the street she has a window she leans out and says "you wanna go play some bingo" I say, "yes I got to go G56 is my number and when I hear it I go bingo"
Also said in this song are:
- Top Shelf
- Tambourine
- O E O joe ho va
- Oooh I'm %%&*^&$ can't write a song about $ and hate and all the things I think about
- Two sticks
Canada Lynx Records Exam
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| Canada Lynx Records Exam
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| Canada Lynx Records Exam Name:____________________ 1) What is the latest Roadbed release called? a) Represented b) Last dance @ the Shockcenter c) Autopilot d) Knockout hits 2) What kind of cat bears resemblance to the Logo for Canada Lynx Records? a) A Lion b) A Tiger c) A Canada Lynx d) A Jaguar 3) These lyrics are for the song Bent a) Gordon Snape takes a long pull of bourbon and considers it GodÕs nectar b) Where you can see graffiti on trains like honest Broadbent for Prime Minister b) Just starts with J, oint comes before ment c) Earl Parrish eats the snickers bar and brings on the cavity creeps 4) What is a Rallus limicola? a) An acid flashback b) A bird c) A region of the brain d) A drink found in the shockcenter 5) He writes about politics the Lynx paw courier? a) Carl Fatman b) Jack Freelance c) Brokin Spires d) Pockets e) Lap Bonus Mark**** How many issues of the Lynx paw courier have been pressed?
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| home • band bio • photo gallery • merchandise • discography • reviews • news • contact • site map |
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Reviews
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| www.roadbedonline.com |
| Roadbed - Last Dance @ The Shockcenter (Canada Lynx) By: Kev Truong [9/10] The title of this Canadian threepiece's latest sprawling effort is a little misleading. It's not a live album, nor (as far as I can tell) is it a swansong. What it is is an adventurous, quirky, offbeat album full of colourful, at times dazzling jazz-rock fusion that doesn't seem to play by any rules and goes wherever it wants to. There's no doubt that some people will be put off by its apparent randomness and eclectic selection, but there's a thread of continuity buried in here somewhere that you'll find if you stick with it. Opening the disc, the jumpy "Cost Plus 10" isn't really indicative of the rest of the album and it's like it's only on here because Roadbed felt like throwing a touch of ska into their already hefty mix of sounds. The fact that it's the first track shows their daring. "Bent" then seeps its way in, and it's in songs like this that Roadbed show their true talent. A beautiful, well-orchestrated and gorgeously arranged piece of seductive fusion jazz, "Bent" plays like a dream and the revolving guitar lick it's built around becomes pure poetry by the end of it. Then as if for nothing but contrast value alone, "King's Quest" roars to life and is Roadbed in rock mode, laying down a catchy, explosive guitar riff driven by a pulsing forward rhythm. From there Roadbed just go wherever the wind takes them. They drift back into reflective daydreaming in "Everything", "Buckey" and "Hey Rock Took The Bait", while "Six In The Jazz Pack" and "John Hornman" are energetic jazz cuts with a gleam in its eye and a spring in its step. Then there's the furious punk rock stylings of "Bengal Tiger" and "BC Lynx", that strangely enough (and for no identifiable reason either) is a little reminiscent of Venom. To really see Roadbed's musicianship and flair though, there are the instrumentals "Sea Storm" and "Masterpiece Theater", the former bringing a folk edge into the fore with its violin noodling and the latter living up to its name with its near-perfect mix of fiery rock and lilting jazz. There's some really interesting stuff going on in this release. Even with the band's predilection for short song lengths ("Fundamentals" comes in at a barely noticeable 43 seconds) and their unusual sense of album structure, there's a fun and joy here that's infectious and undeniable. Roadbed are a band that really love making music, and their passion carries across. It doesn't so much show through in Super Robertson's dreamy, occasionally distracted vocals, but it does in their instrumentation, songwriting and fearless nature. Wicked stuff Ð let it breathe and you'll see what I mean.
Sunday, June 20, 2004 I went to Roadbed's album release gig at the Railway on Friday. Roger Dean Young and Tin Cup opened up with their laid-back deep woods music and In 3's played last, with a guest violinist and a set of mostly improvised tunes, punctuated with quotes from Radiohead, U2, and a whole Roadbed song. I marked the Roadbed exam. Super gave me instructions to select the most unique scores for consideration. Well, there was only one perfect score (6/6) and one person who got zero (that would be Shockk), and a huge pile of fives and threes. A couple people had doodled all over their exams, so I decided it should be an art contest instead of a Roadbed trivia quiz, and submitted those to Super when it was time to pick a winner. What I love about Roadbed is that they play a lot of unrecorded material, and one of the new songs inevitably becomes a new favourite. In the early days it was "Scarb Jacket," (which ended up on Knockout Hits) and lately it's been "King's Quest" (which I only got to hear a couple times live before it showed up on Last Dance @ the Shockcenter). Now my favourite Roadbed song is the one with this crazy Iron Maiden triplet part that comes out of nowhere. No idea what it's called. They played it about three songs in on Friday night. All in all, a good ploy to keep me coming back for more. .: posted by The Mule 11:03 AM copied and pasted By SR 2:58 pm By steve Newton Publish Date: 10-Jun-2004 Last Dance @ the Shockcenter (Canada Lynx Records) A local band named Roadbed dropped off this CD--and a 12-pack of Molson Export--to the attention of Mike Usinger, high sheriff of the Georgia Straight's rock 'n' roll department. Now, being the model of integrity that he is, the towering music editor wasn't about to have his shiny silver badge tarnished by the suggestion that his opinion could be bought with a dozen brown rockets. At least not the domestic kind. So the bright-red case of beer sat uncracked beside Usinger's desk for several days--the Roadbed disc and bio planted conspicuously on top--until someone willing to sell their journalistic soul for a cheap barley buzz hauled the low-rent payola away. No sooner had my fingertips grasped the "publicity material" than a booming voice called out: "Whaddaya think you're doing?" Turns out that although Mr. Mike had no intention of reviewing the CD himself, he had definite guidelines for anyone who took the bait. "You have to drink the whole thing before you write the review," he commanded, like Moses from the mount. Knowing full well that I can't write anything after 12 beers, I offered to douse half of them instead, and His Highness verily agreed. I pounded back six at home while watching the Flames lose the Cup, then cranked up Last Dance @ the Shockcenter. What I don't get is why a band as obviously talented as Roadbed even bothers to include alcoholic incentives in its "press kits". On the 16 tracks that make up Last Dance @ the Shockcenter, the group proves itself a progressive jazz-rock outfit of the finest sort. Stellar musicianship, mind-bending lyrics, and adventurous arrangements make it clear that Roadbed would be much better off sending well-rolled doobies to prospective reviewers rather than lowly boxes of ale.
Roadbed CD: Autopilot Just when you think you know what the next Roadbed CD, or even song for that matter, will bring to your ears, Roadbed tosses out a definitive Screw You and launches into a musical tirade you never saw coming! Hence is the experience of listening to Roadbed's 2003 release Autopilot. You think you know what's coming? Haha, you're wrong. From the opening drum count and very punkish "Nice Bucket", to the third track, some kind of cross breed ska/nu-metal "19 Fresh Bananas", to the all-out rocking final track and self-tribute song "Roadbed", this British Columbia based band seem to enjoy throwing curves at the listener to ensure you are paying attention. A staunch refusal to be pigeonholed into a single musical genre may prove to either be their downfall or their liberation. To get a feeling of where this band is mentally, read the very brief band bio on their site. It tells you nothing about the band, but perhaps everything of what they feel. I won't bother repeating it all hear, other than the final line: RoadbedÉ..are disappointed by humanity. An eclectic statement to be sure, but perhaps one that more people than you know feel but refuse to admit. Therein seems to be the entire sum of Roadbed and their music. They play what they need to play. Not because they need to play it to become popular, but because it is what they NEED to play. Musically these guys stand out with as some real talents. There is nothing on Autopilot that sags or seems out of place. Likewise the production of every track is top notch. This isnÕt a case of some guys trying to be artsy because they lack the skill to do otherwise. Roadbed can obviously hold their own musically along side any band. These are the guys I would like to sit down with a couple of beer and a smoke and have a long chat with! If a discussion followed the same route as their musical tastes it would be a very interesting evening indeed!!
Roadbed was a band I'd never even heard of, but wow! they were just revolutionary. They played a strange cross between straight jazz and Flin Flon-esque minimalism, and dressed like The Super Friendz - ridiculously large pink glasses, toques with earflaps, big nasty sideburns. The music was incredible and most of us sat in awe through their whole set.
Roadbed...I Like My local music installment of a couple weeks ago had a serious omission. I forgot to mention my friends Roadbed, and their official site by gforceCreative. Roadbed are a kind of jazz-pop-indie-rock trio who never fail to put on a top-notch show. Like all great bands, each member has a distinct personality. If you replaced any one of them, it would be a totally different band. On drums, you've got Two-Sticks: one suave MF with a feather-light touch that drives the ladies wild. On guitar, there's Shockk-the embodiment of all things caffeinated and rocking, able to switch from Metheny to Slayer and back again in a click of a stomp-box. Finally, on bass and vocals, we have Super Robertson-man-mountain and mountain-man, poet, diarist, facial-hair experimenter and They Might Be Giants fan. They're friends, we've collaborated in the past, and I've seen more of their gigs than I've had hot dinners (guess that makes me-gulp-a "Roadhead"). Go see 'em at a fine venue near you. .: posted by Rob Hughes |
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| "...Roadbed headlined, and it is a testimonial to their usual great performance that they kept people partying down into the wee hours. As always their set was varied, their fashion remarkable, and their jazz/rock guru status was further solidified as they goaded the audience into verbal battles over whether they should next play a rock tune or a jazz tune, with one fan even comparing them to the legendary Uzeb!" -member of STOKE: Anza Club, Aug. 4th 2001 |
| home • band bio • photo gallery • merchandise • discography • reviews • news • contact • site map |
| contact Roadbed at info@roadbedonline.com |
| © Roadbed Music 2001-2003 |
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| November 14, 2004 Here is a news flash for you "I hate websites". In fact i find them counter productive as an artist. This of course is why the updates are becoming few and perhaps farther between. The sad truth of it is now that i no longer believe that a website has much of an affect besides destroying bandmate energies fickeling over errant puffery. The good news is that Roadbed, our beloved heroes, will be playing at the Railway Club on Friday November 26th with guests Ross vegas and The feminists. Roadbed will be up 2nd so we approximate an 11:00 pm showtime. Only a fool would say 11:00 PM SHARP... a wise man would say at around 11:00-11:30ish. Just one of those things that seems to be important for people to know WHAT TIME A BAND PLAYS. But hey if there is any club that is good with schedules it would be the mighty Railway Club. Now there has been some rumor that this will be the FINAL ROADBED SHOW and that the band is breaking up. This is supposedly a rumor made up by SMASH and i for one don't think that that is a proper way to conduct affairs. Word has it that he is making a handsome sum of money on his illegal bootlegged "Roadbed you like" compilation and is looking for further Christmas bonuses. September 28, 2004 Perhaps the ice has melted and watered the grass as it appears that Roadbed are set to dominate another night at the Railway Club on Friday November 26. The night should promise a certain quality of entertainment that Roadbed has become synonymous with.
September 1, 2004 ROADBED ON ICE Roadbed members have decided to retire the band Roadbed. Band members are said to have no regrets with their time in Roadbed but it is clearly time to move on. Ace guitarist Shockk is running hot with his band Mongoose, pro drummer and singer Simian is cooking things with Kooper Kain, and the disgruntled mumbler S Robertson has assembled Vancouver's latest Supergroup. The band is currently negotiating with the legendary Railway club for 1 final blowout show at the end of the year. Sources close to the band refuse to believe that this is the end of Roadbed and pundits are predicting the band will be back in action next year after they "come to their senses". All of this comes on the heels of a worldwide distribution deal, so things do seem a bit odd around the Roadbed camp. Roadbed music is available at most quality download stores like Apple iTunes store, Sony connect , and Napster. August 17, 2004 Roadbed are set to play the Baysisde lounge on August 18 2004. The band had originally planned to play an acoustic show but due to some retarded factor that is no longer possible. None the less the show must go on, whatever the hell that means, for good or ill... that said look for Roadbed to dominate the Vancouver west end beaches region with a strong clinic tomorrow night.
August 8, 2004, Rumors are that the band Roadbed will attempt to pull it's head out of it's ass in the coming weeks to do a show. The band did an about-face shortly after releasing last Dance @ the Shockcenter and slid into the form of bar table discussion, a highly irritating way of existing. Sources closer to the band are saying that there will be no bass in this show. I know when I heard it I though "what the fuck does that mean" but managed to catch up to bass player S. Robertson who told me "not to worry about it" and then went on to ridicule my haircut. Gordon Snape
June 29, 2004 Lots of things have happened with Roadbed lately. The CD Last Dance @ The Shockcenter was released to a full house of wonderful people. This occurred at the Railway Club in Vancouver. As per usual there was an exam and some prizes. What happened next was rather strange... The two people that doodled on their page ended up winning and the guy who got perfect got nothing but a hardy handshake. When asked about this discrepancy Headmaster S Robertson agreed "this is a ridiculous situation" said Robertson adding "I was actually worried that everybody would get perfect as it was such an easy exam".. and then " I was braced for that so I told my lead TA, the Mule, to try and whittle it down some other way... and in actual fact of the two that were picked as finalists, the one that answered question 3 correctly took home the big loot". Apparently the band gave away a vintage pinball machine and a Roadbed CD library. Strange indeed Take the Exam yourself May 18, 2004 Thanks to all that made it out to the Cafe Deux Soleils show. In case you hadn't heard Smash won the Roadbed watch. That is twice he has won... he even sort of won an Internet contest once promising a free Roadbed t- shirt but the stingy headmaster S Robertson slapped him with a technicality fowl thus robbing of him of his prize. April 27, 2004 Roadbed has in their possession a few large boxes packed with fresh copies of the new CD Last Dance @ the Shockcenter. That said, the band appears to be back in business with a show at Cafe Deux Soleils, 2096 Commercial drive on Friday April 30th. Although the CD will officially be released on June 18 @ The Railway Club in Vancouver, March 28, 2004 Canada Lynx Records artists ROADBED took a bath in the CBC's ZED online battle of the bands competition. The song Honest Beardman from the EP AUTIPILOT was chosen to represent ROADBED by dint that it was ROADBED's top rated song having been viewed 19 times and given 2 five star votes. This proved to be an ill-fated move, but it got even worse. Roadbed kingpin S. ROBERTSON challenged Perpetual Dream Theory stalwart GOMI to a fistfight in the parking lot of the Wally's Burgers in East Vancouver. Robertson then proceeded to get involve in the online discussion group, threatening, spreading rumors, and pushing buttons. By the time the contest ended Roadbed was in the cellar and S Robertson was in the doghouse having insulted the integrity of the competition. One of the lowest lows occurred when Robertson accused another contestant of being "one who dines on fecal matter". Roadbed is participating in Zed TV's battle of the bands March 15, 2004. It seems to be another online competition to see who gets to play live on Zed TV. Roadbed kingpin S Robertson who believes competition is the key to motivation has challenged Perpetual Dream Theory's Gomi to a fist fight in order to kick start the festivities. The online contest starts on Monday the 15th . To be eligible to vote you just need to have an account on zed.cbc.ca. The fist fight is set for Saturday the 21st in the parking lot of Wally's burgers. In another Zed related news flash, the song Sun Rises was aired on national television in a sequence called "Art-to-Go: Visuals by Kris Knight with music from Roadbed".
Roadbed records in the sanctuary January 29, 2004 On Sunday January 25th, Roadbed went into the Sanctuary at 4pm with a G4 Macintosh computer, 6 microphones, a CD burner, a monitor and some new songs. On Monday January 26th the band emerged from the sanctuary with 4 songs completed. The songs Sim special sauce, draped over bones, SLAMMING THE ROUTE and a new version of Sun Rises are said to be complete. In another unrelated news story Roadbed is set to play a benefit concert at Cafe Deux Soleils (2096 Commercial) on February 7. The benefit is being organized by Brock Prytel and is to help raise legal funds for some farmer who is fighting the big system... sounds like a good time for the song Mr Greenie. Canada Lynx records kicks off 2004 with a fresh attack. January 21, 2004 Canada Lynx records will be launching a new site and it should be up any moment. S. Robertson has taken a page out of the book of Willingdon Black and is expecting a total disaster. That way if things go all right then it is a nice pleasantry. Canada Lynx records is also home to The Lynx Paw Courier, which will serve as the new news center. Rumor has it that some of Vancouver's premier writers are getting behind the cause... one can hope for great things. Also in the works are two new releases 1) a Canada Lynx records compilation titled triangle, and 2) the next Roadbed record with a working title Roadbed 4, last dance at the Shockcenter. The latter will contain many songs played and mixed by former Roadbed drummer Two Sticks Hobbs. Roadbed in its latest form featuring SIMIAN will be performing live @ the Cottage bistro 4468 Main street on Friday January 23.
The latest report on Roadbed December 8, 2003 A new pack of Fuji High Bias ZII audio cassettes has been purchased by Canada Lynx records. It is believed that the band Roadbed is going back to the track. The tascam 244 that is... known to some as the greatest writing tool since the invention of the pencil. Roadbed has seen a new zest for life with the addition of Drummer known as SIMIAN. Roadbed kingpin Super Robertson has said that "Sim fits the bill... he talks the right talk, Groove is his walk, and he remembers things". Shockk has been reported to be "Totally Stoked". It seems that Sim will be put on a half year probation period with the condition that 2 new albums must be releases in that time. Super Robertson who is expecting his first Child in late February sees no problem meeting that simple task. Carl Fatman is at war again with the CBC. It seems that not only has the CBC rejected Carl's offer of employment, but now an insider has stooped to destroying his online video downloads. An unnamed source from the CBC has said "People were starting to get nervous from Carl... I think his abilities threatened a lot of people and he was on the verge of exposing then as lazy and out of the know... I know that there was a select group that were talking about how to stop this and then the next day a computer error occurred". Carl Fatman who has been working on trying to solve this has been given phone numbers that are out of service and a great lag in E-mail response time. S.Robertson gets cheated November 21, 2003 Roadbed bass player and sideburn champion was unable to rent the movie "Who is Harry Crumb?" because the Video store Movie gallery located at 585 East Broadway, Vancouver B.C V5T 1X4 sold it off. The classic movie starring the late great John Candy has been sold off to make room for new releases packed with the latest errant puffery. A horrible trend is at work here folks and it begins with M and ends in Y. Money of course. The Black is back November 3, 2003 Stoke frontman and ace writer has returned with passion. Known to many as Willingdon Black, and self coded ACM has once again updated his column Black and blues.. Any column that ends with ÒYeah, yeah... hotshots like you are always sorry when the damage is done.Ó .. is king shit to the Canada Lynx camp. In other Blog news Mule Hughes has settled an unfortunate debate that occurred. It is believed that S. Robertson, who was in a debate over the frequency of occurrence of solos during the latest roadbed show, needed some assurance that there were not too many solos, and so he asked a child of the god of prog rock.... the Mule.
Shockk goes on tour November 2, 2003 CO-Kingpin of the band Roadbed Shockk has taken his rock band Mongoose on a tour of western Canada. The band left Vancouver in the dawn of November 1st and is due to return 8 days later. Check the website for show dates if you live in Alberta. The Canada lynx camp wishes mongoose the best and hopes for a safe return. News from the road will be posted if it comes in to the office. S Robertson set to record November 2, 2003 Known insane maniac S Robertson has booked some time this week with Ace producer Gordon Breckenridge. Gomi, who's credits include the latest self titled In 3"s CD, gomiworks, perpetual dream theory, and current projects titled Brave waves and Dramatic adrift. When called by distinguished journalist Carl Fatman Gord was left speechless and seemed confused... after a moment or two Carl got the quote "I am expecting the "magic" of the recording experience to take over" Roadbed set to reconvene at the Cottage Bistro in October On Tuesday October 28th Roadbed will demonstrate Roadbed vi at the Cottage Bistro located at 4468 main St. in Vancouver B.C.. Sam Cartwright will hit the skins on this night and it shall be an early show beginning at 8:30 and ending a couple of hours later. One could expect a more jazz-like freestyle event, although, a little rock never hurt anyone. This is another Canada Lynx presentation... there will be no cover charge.
Carl Fatman takes his offer off of the table October 15, 2003 Distinguished Journalist Carl Fatman has taken his offer off of the table as contract talks stall. Carl Fatman who had offered his services to the CBC news in a blockbuster deal that would have had him declared "head newscaster of the CBC". Apparently CBC wouldn't go for it... possibly because the contract called for the show "The National" to change it's name to "Thumb on the pulse" . Carl had also pitched an idea to have a segment titled"14 minutes of poetry with Carl Fatman", that was, apparently, never seriously considered by the CBC.
Canada Lynx records on the warpath October 11, 2003 Word has infiltrated to the Canada Lynx records camp that Roadbed security has been breached. A company by the name of Dark Beer records is said to have declared the release of a 22 song Roadbed Anthology titled "Roadbed, You like!". God only knows what kind of a treacherous insane maniac is behind this. Early reviews of the release are calling it a classic must have and another critic declared that one copy should be put in a time capsule as it is a valuable historic document.
Roadbed back September 18, 2003 Vancouver band Roadbed stormed back to the stage last weekend with 2 live appearances. Roadbed played the 2nd annual "loftland street party" in Mount pleasant on Saturday September 13th with jazz drummer Sam Cartwright. Roadbed appeared again on Sunday night at the Backstage lounge with veteran drummer Brock Pytel. Both shows had their moments and tended to focus on longer "jam" versions of Roadbed material. Sources close to the band say that Roadbed may go on with three drummers each rehearsing with the band one night a week. The band has been swamped with applications to fill the vacancy and it appears that multiple drummers would give greater flexibility and a wider range of styles to feed from.
Roadbed rocks the street with drummer Sam Cartwright September 13, 2003
Roadbed declares a fresh new vibe August 18, 2003 Speculation has been settled with the announcement that drummer Two Sticks Hobbs will no longer hit the skins for the band ROADBED. This report comes from the head kingpin's Super Robertson and Shockk who met with sleuth reporter Oalk Reece sleuth reporter Oalk Reece- What did Hobbs mean to the band? S Robertson- I guess the big answer was security. He would show up, and he is a great drummer and even a friend however there is a greater force at work here, something I like to call "artistic destiny". I dunno it has been a long time. Shockk- we just got to change it up. Changes are needed. We must move on and find out what the grand scheme of things has in store for us. Sleuth Reporter Oalk Reece- Can you give me a reason for this? S Robertson- It come down to want. What we want and what he wants... the gap has gotten too big. I think if we were a band that was successful in the old school meaning of the word successful..... and as a result had a greater base of people that could help us and lift some of the burden of unnecessary interactions that I know we have had. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece - What the? Shockk- We have a show and a drummer set to Blast the PIC on Saturday September 13th... don't worry about it. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece- didn't you guys sign on with an Internet marketing company? (long pause) Shockk - Super deals with that. S Robertson- Indeed. Another classic example of the wrong thing happening for the wrong reasons and the only way I didn't see it coming was that I was racked with a desperate hate and disillusionment about the world we live in. Anytime you try to please everybody you are doomed absolutely. The power is in the message not the medium, and the only thing that disguises that is a never-ending army of cheap salesmen trying to gouge a living out of nothing. I got an e-mail from somebody associated with a company trying to market a Toronto blue jays site. Now I guess they did a search on the word Toronto Blue Jay, and it seems that I had once written on Roadbedonline.com the words Toronto blue jay. So of course I got this e-mail about a link exchange program because they wanted to be linked to quality cites that contained real truths. Now indeed roadbedonline contains real truths one of them being baseball is a boring sport for losers. The point of course being that somebody paid someone else to dig me up as a possible pathway for economic revenue. There is a sucker born every minute and I got a set of gills to match
Roadbed set to play benefit June 28, 2003 Margaret Taylor known for her violin styles on the Roadbed hits frustrated man, Sun Rises, and Sea Storm is holding a benefit concert at the Purple Crab (Main and 23rd Vancouver B.C) on Monday June 30th. Roadbed is set to take the stage at 10:30 PM. The fundraiser itself is to help generate funds to finish the editing of a movie that was shot last year wherein Margaret Taylor led an entourage across Canada Playing music in Old Folks homes... they would play the music that was all the rage 40 years ago and found that this stimulated great responses in the memories of the audiences Roadbed set to play the Railway Club on August 16th 2003 Saturday August 16th will bring the return of Roadbed to the fabulous Railway Club . The bill is rumored to have Antique city and a band from Mexico city called gas Attack.. Sources close to the Roadbed camp say that it is possible that legendary black 'n' blues rockers STOKE may take the stage as well.
Roadbed records again..May 21, 2003 It has been reported that the band Roadbed was recording over the long weekend.. Details are not clear but word has it that Super Robertson had Two Sticks Hobbs in a headlock and rapped his melon off of the control board. "It was the sound of Hobbs head knocking hard on the console that changed the vibe of the session" said engineer Nappy Gentings.. Others remarked"it was just a matter of time". The whole scene may have shed some light on a long brewing rift between drummer and bassist. Super Robertson who is described my many as fundamentally difficult, sees Hobbs as a niggling fool with the intuition of a lemming. Two Sticks Hobbs, who produces, sees Super as an irrational and unprofessional tyrant . Nevermind music West think Music Canada Lynx 2003.. the resurrection is real..... on Friday night May 23th.. 2525 main St... the place is called LUGGS.. Think like the lynx and paw yourself a coffee with a mound of sugar.. Think 8:00pm ......No more on this! Roadbed plays a party in Mount pleasant.... May 17, 2003 Indeed a good time was had by all.. There was a guy that declared himself in charge of the beers.. Hobbs didn't miss a beat.. He held out his hand and said "Hi I'm Chris good to meet you"... and then nicely under his breath he offered "you ll be getting to know me!"... The food was great and the party was set to the extended groove of ROADBED, a proven combination of good times. Local proprietor Carl Sandling offered "the city should declare Roadbed Day once a month".. later Super Robertson and Carl exchanged headlocks. Guitar visionary Shockk had to put on a little clinic and duel a drunkard from the stage like an outlaw guitarist. Roadbed also played a song 2x... the song was Mr. Greenie.. Word has it that Roadbed is planning to record that song this weekend. Roadbed puts on a Clinic April 26, 2003 April 25th saw the release of AUTOPILOT, the new Roadbed CD. The night was set off in spectacular fashion with a Trent Klatt overtime goal giving the hometown crowd much to cheer about. Stellar sets by Perpetual dream theory, Junedog and Function helped to lubricate the crowd into further frenzy. During that time 30 Canada lynx records exams were written, all participants eager to win Roadbed heirlooms. At 1:00am pacific time Roadbed opened the set with the classic Gibbering Fool. The crowd went wild and stayed that way until the last song.. Which happened to be Bengal Tiger. In mid set known socialite M. Robbins demanded a set diversion with a little thing she called "Roadbed-e-okie". This was of course in response to being told at a show last year that if she wanted to hear "deep fried" she would have to sing it. Miss Robbins put on a clinic of her own varying from the soft versus to the attack choruses. Thanks to All that came out to the festivities. Exam results are in April 28, 2003 A deadlock tie for first place occurred.. Jonathan Moore, ace guitarist for the band Ross Vegas and Dr. C Tognon of the BC Cancer research institute tied for the top honors. The team of Electric Sue+ the land of deb scored a solid second followed closely by roadbed exam stalwart King Dinosaur. At the other end of the spectrum Craig Mcewen,Del Cowsill, and Mia all served up Bagel's (that means they go 0%). Craig Mcewen went even further shaming his family and his entire heritage by defacing his exam and threatening to kill Roadbed drummer Two sticks hobbs. Jonathan Moore wins the original Roadbed 4-track machine. Dr C. Tognon wins the Canada Lynx records custom guitar stand Electric Sue and the land of Deb win Roadbed Shirts Kind Dinosaur wins a copy of AUTOPILOT study hard folks.
Roadbed war program ready to launch...April 24, 2003 Vancouver music scene sends in inspector who is then kicked out of the sanctuary. Sources claim vancouver journalist Vamp Shorter was ejected from the sanctuary for having bad body odor . Mr. Shorter had spinach in his teeth and spoke with the air fowled by some serious halitosis. Nape Shorter was sent into the Sanctuary , a Canada Lynx complex, to take a look at the new Roadbed release AUTOPILOT. Word has it that he was greeted by Roadbed but smelt so bad that he was not granted entry. A scuffle ensued and Nape Shorter was beaten and had to flee without even seeing the new CD. Vamp Shorter then said that he would take a bath, brush his teeth and then come to see Roadbed play live @ the Railway Club on April 25th. April 14, 2003 Roadbed is set to release a 5 song CD EP titled AUTOPILOT on April 25th. The gala event will take place at the legendary Railway club in Vancouver BC. Also on the bill are Perpetual dream theory, Junedog and Fuction. One has to wonder what this year will bring Roadbed. After a solid year some thought that Roadbed was destine to win a Juno. Unfortunately the band came up goose eggs when the big money voted. Roadbed kingpin Super Robertson believes that the band is still a little obscure in some regions of Canada but hopes to see a change. Roadbed has another full length CD ready to go titled FUNDAMENTALS.. It is believed that AUTOPILOT is the initial attack for 2003. Ace guitarist Shockk would not buy into a "Shock and Awe" analogy claiming "there are people out there trying to ruin a good word" Stoke frontman Willingdon Black Slag's Roadbed...March 17, 2003 Veteran rocker Willingdon Black has put the ax to the stone once again calling Roadbed members "Sissies, Chickens and poor citizens". Willingdon Black wiped drool from his face after an extended lunch hour at the Jolly Alderman Pub In Vancouver BC. Although Roadbed members failed to show for the latest Stoke gig Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece feels Willingdon Black was upset over a series of pizzas that were ordered to his house under the Alias "Gorden Snape" . Gordon Snape who does some work for Canada Lynx records has set an ultimatum.. "Willingdon Black must hand over a series of Bootleg Roadbed recordings he is believed to have in a secret location or Pizzas will be coming like Crows to Willingdon Junction". Willingdon junction of course is a famous Burnaby landmark Immortalized in a Roadbed song titled just that. Why Willingdon Black has turned his ire to the innocent? one can only guess.... some believe that by attacking Roadbed he will further the Stoke cause.
What happened to Roadbed? February 19, 2003 In an exclusive interview Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece Gets to the heart of the issues The following cassette was directly transcribed.. It showed up in an unmarked brown envelope on February 17 SROR- What the hell is going on.. No shows, no record, no news... Well I'm Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece standing down by that Shockcenter.. With me are Roadbed. Roadbed answer my question what the hell is going on Roadbed- Don't worry about it oalkie.. We got some situations.. We got some work to do.. Listen here greasy SROR- Don't gimme this greasy nonsense. I am an honest journalist! Roadbed- We know that Oalk.. Were sorry. And for your question.. We are just in a good routine right now.. Things are working on a number of fronts.. Sometimes when you play a show you end up losing 3 rehearsals (live show, preparation, tear down and such).. You can suffer a severe momentum blow some times.. Although other times it can be very inspiring.. SROR-What then are you working on? Is it true that there are 2 forthcoming releases Roadbed- One is done.. It is a 5 song effort called AUTOPILOT a more fast rocking Roadbed effort.. The other called at this point FUNDAMENTALS is looking to be a sort of remake of Knockout Hits.. Different songs of course but a variety of sounds. It is basically done .. there just needs to be a few minor adjustments. We also have a butch of new songs to record in march.. It is possible that a few of them will end up on FUNDAMENTALS.. Time will tell. SROR- Word has it that Roadbed, Motorcycle man and Ras Vegas are set to perform on The Carl Fatman show on March 8. Is this true Roadbed- Yes it is Oalk
it was at this time that the tape machine ate the tape sending into self-destruct mode.. Canada Lynx records coat of arms is under commission February 1, 2003 Distinguished artist Ferris Carvings is set to design the Canada Lynx Records coat of arms. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece back from vacation was overheard in a bar the other night saying that the coat of arms will contain a Canada Lynx, A Shockk, a two Sticks and a Lowland Gorilla all set on a Lynx paw shield. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece known for his "English love of the drink".. may have been joking for it was John Gangor who reported this. John gangor had his Sleuth reporter license yanked by Canada Lynx records insane maniac Super Robertson earlier this year after he bombed the sleuth reporter Exam. Carl Fatman Explains January 31, 2003 It seems that Distinguished journalist Carl Fatman is back. Carl Fatman star of the Carl Fatman show has been heard from again. Carl Fatman had disappeared last October after an incident at the ford theater in which he was roughed up by hired goons. The last known communication with Carl Fatman Occurred on October 18 with a man known only as Mr. Brooks . Carl Fatman Explains January 31, 2003 It seems that Distinguished journalist Carl Fatman is back. Carl Fatman star of the Carl Fatman show had disappeared last October after an incident at the Ford theater in which he was roughed up by hired goons. The last known communication with Carl Fatman occurred on October 18 with a man known only as Mr. Brooks .. But now on January 31, 2003 Carl Fatman is back Hey Rock has his cake December 17, 2002 Roadbed scholar hey rock received his copy of Roadbed "live at the Shockcenter" last night in what was to be a drive by quick visit before heading down to the Green room for the open stage. Hey rock who won the cassette by scoring %88 on the latest in the series of Exams given by roadbed to the fan base was on the turkey and potatoes like a mad dog.. He then started abusing the substances.. Before you know it the guitars were out. Hey Rock who had set many "departure times" that were passed like signs on a highway then got into the cake... I believe it was icing sugar that was all over hey Rocks face when he finally bolted from the Lynx headquarters. Head baker Dakota Farborne pulled out all of the stops.. It was a sour berry cake covered with a light sprinkle of icing sugar. Study hard folks. The Goose is loose January 9, 2003 In a somewhat cryptic e-mail to the Canada Lynx Camp it appears that the CD White plastic deer by the band Mongoose is now happening. The album is on Copperspine records and is a collaboration between Roadbed leader Shockk and a prairie boy Named R.C.. In a statement earlier R.C had this to say " been shovelin wheat and giving out mongoose cds selling a few too Shockker if you plan on putting a mention about mongoose on the roadbed website Allen Moy asked if the goose could create a link to the divine site". When sleuth reporter John Gangor was asked about who Allen Moy was he did not know. It was at that time that headmaster Super Robertson administered John Gangor a sleuth reporter exam.. Results are not back yet .. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece is vacationing and could not be reached for comment mongoosetheband@hotmail.com for more information
Hey Rock the new Champion December 7, 2002 Well the results are in and longtime Roadbed archival has gained the status of "Roadbed scholar". The Roadbed exam, the third in a series went better than the other two. Headmaster Super Robertson was happy to announce a %70 average... which was much greater than the 21% and 28% previous averages. Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece noted that this was due to the fact that the exam was at least reasonable and later he added that "it was better to not have Super Robertson scolding the captive pupils after they failed their exam". Previous champions The Mule, Smash, and CC sit-down were upstaged by the genius of Hey Rock.. Smash who came closest and appeared in shock when he learned that he was not the champion and had lost his reign as the almighty Roadbed scholar asked to go over his paper.. It was at this time he realized that he had answered "True" to the statement "Motorcycle man is from Chicago". Smash then conceded and said "well I deserve to loose if I'm going to make that kind of a mental mistake... damn ..And I reread that twice and still missed it.. It is Detroit... Damn". It should be noted that CC scored poorly on this exam... he took it alone later which raises serious questions to wether he cheated on the last exam. Meanwhile the Roadbed sales machine Shockk was putting on a sales clinic up by the stage.. This all started after Hanna was lured towards the merchandise with the idea of free shirt.. Roadbed toys with prog rock.... November 18, 2002 Strange sounds from the Shockcenter lately ... a report by Sleuth Reporter Oalk Reece who spent some time in the ducts of the building lately to get this assignment "I would say that the music of Roadbed is becoming more complex". Distinguished journalist Carl Fatman had this to say "I wouldn't worry about Roadbed.. They will find a way to make it work".. Gordon Snape was busy bidding on Super Robertson's pristine custom doubleneck bass Buzz in Canada Lynx camp over the new roadbed releases October 25, 2002 Distinguished journalist Carl Fatman is declaring Roadbed "The best band in the history of the world".. this came after Carl Fatman heard some of the new Roadbed tracks. When asked by sleuth reporter Oalk Reece "Aren't those the guys that basically fund you" Carl Fatman had this to say "I'm Carl Fatman and I have my ear to the ground and my finger on the pulse of the neighborhood.. But yes they do fund me.. And no, if you are alluding to the idea that I would alter my god felt instincts for the good of money... that would be a breach of journalism". Sleuth Reporter Oalk Reece realizing the mental error he had made went red and left the room. Carl Fatman Hosts Thanksgiving Feast October 9, 2002 The Carl Fatman Show takes a new turn... On October 12 2002 distinguished journalist Carl Fatman, know for his coverage of local arts events will be hosting a Talk Show in the Carl Fatman Room... Ace guitarist Shockk will be running the the Lynx pen band, Richard Badcock will dig into the Knockin' Dog archives and it is rumored that Vancouver Greats STOKE will be performing at the gala event. Carl Fatman has also promised to cook a turkey for the occasion to be served at 8:00pm. Anyone interested in attending can get in touch with Roadbed... Hit the contact roadbed button on the ROADBEDONLINE web page. Carl is currently working on booking Roger Young and a member of the Vancouver Music media juggernaut. Shockk on a tear again ..October 1, 2002 Now that his project Mongoose is done and on the shelf waiting to be released Shockk has found himself in the possession of an 8 track recorder. The recording device owned by R.C. Has yet to be returned. In the meantime Shockk has undertaken a last blast speed recording session. Stoke bass player smashes Canada Lynx records Exam's high test score ..October 1, 2002 A man fittingly named Smash has set a new standard for the Canada Lynx Exam score. Smash opted to pay the $30 administration fee to take the Exam.. Rather than wait for the next opportunity to take the test for free. Smash dominated the test paper scoring 84%.. a full 12% higher than the previous top score. Smash has been awarded the title "Roadbed scholar" and when contacted had this to say.. " WOOO HOOOO I SCORED A CRUSHING VICTORY IN THE TEST !!! (High score was a tie for 18 right? Man what a decisive triumph, if belated and without prizes. You must have thought I was doomed after the first three eh? Hahaha!". It was noted that smash got 2 out of the first three questions wrong yet still managed to get 21/25.
Willingdon Black out of control again September 10, 2002 Known drunkard and frontman for the rock band Stoke was thrown out of a Vancouver Hospital today after an argument erupted in room 1503. Willingdon Black was in checking up on Sleuth Reporter Oalk Reece who was in the hospital for minor surgery on his left leg. What started out as a friendly visit turned sour when hospital staff checked in on a noise complaint.. Apparently Willingdon Black and Oalk Reece had been heavy into a Bottle of Jack Daniels. When informed that this behavior was not acceptable Willingdon Black swilled down the remainder of the bottle and bolted. Oalk Reece who was mostly incoherent was babbling "Willingdon Black is King". There were notes scattered around the room that read like a battle plan for some war that was never clear.... Oalk Reece managed to eat several of these documents and then passed out. When reached for comment Willingdon Black had this to say "I drink Icelandic Vodka". Super Robertson and Shockk give analog clinic September 9, 2002 A small crowd on Granville island was treated to an intimate session on "How to use a 4 track" led by Roadbed demigods SR and Shockk. Throughout the evening two songs were written and recorded in front of a live audience. Super and Shockk explained the process from tape choice to the final mix process... Roadbed members decked out in toques and shades planted the seeds of creativity in two members of the audience in particular who declared that they were going to rush home and pull out there machines for an all night session. Others were in awe at how fun 4 tracking can be. It is believed that this is just another battle won in the war for Rock and Roll, a term that Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece is covering in an upcoming book on the scene AKA 2002. Willingdon Black fingered in robbery August 29, 2002 Known petty thief Willingdon Black is the main suspect in a suspected robbery at Canada Lynx Records. A Stoke live video has been lifted from the Archives of the Carl Fatman Show.. It is believed That Willingdon Black was concerned that the Carl Fatman camp was in a position to post live Stoke footage on the Internet without his consent. His fears were as dead on the money as they were unreasonable, but that is beside the point. Willingdon Black honed his skills by stealing pens until he became more comfortable with larger more square objects. Sometime earlier this year it is believed that Willingdon Black STOLE THAT TAPE! Motorcycle Man Rocks the Cobolt August 27, 2002 There was a Goddamn Moshpit and in the center of it was sleuth reporter Oalk Reece and some other individuals sporting Mohawks. Carl Fatman was deflated when he heard that he missed the show and had this comment "I did a bad job this week". The MC rocked hard and furious Blasting through 4 songs... they wanted more but the MC showed respect to the format of an Open Jam night. Oalk Reece suffered a broken leg and is now considering other career options. August 5, 2002 Canada Lynx Records Exam CL 010... The prize winners were APE SHARPENER... Mule Hughes 18/25 ROADBED T SHIRT ,CC Sit-down, Hey Kristin Naso 18/25 Roadbed Girlie Shirt.. Babs... who scored an all time low 1/25 The consensus seemed to be that the exam was too hard and it was a corrupt campaign from the get go. How could a man who was in fact the answer to question #13 win. Yes Mule Hughes who scored a three way tie for first place with CC sit-down and hey Kristin (%72)...There were other incidences where some pupils defaced there exam.... Babs found the time to add a question on her exam.. Where was Babs born? the choice's being Montreal, Australia, Saskatchewan and the Floating world. Dave Craig who scored a lowly 7/25 wrote that he hated tests and defaced the paper with obscenities and added another choice to question 14.. That being One armed torso man. Billy Raked gave up by question #12 and added his own multiple choice answers some reading simply Help me, Glenn Clark, Still confused, and why not among others. Even Roadbed veteran David Carruthers gave up By question 2.. writing in things like Two Sticks, More chip[s please, Naomi Snieckus, I think he faked it, he drank all my whiskey.. referring to a night not long ago. Leah Pageot drew a bear on the front of her exam.. Vo bro. #1, Pietro and King Dinosaur scored admirably on the exam... or at least they passed.... Thanks everybody we will be back Friday, August 02, 2002 The Roadbed Quiz at the Railway Club last night was a close-run affair. When all the exams were completed, there was a three-way tie for first between myself, CC Sitdown and Hey Kristian. We each scored 18/25. What to do? Towards the end of the set, the band settled into a quiet groove. Super and Shockk pondered the alternatives. Super decided that crowd response would decide the winner. CC had the biggest cheering section. The Mule only had himself and the stalwart Mr. Black. It seemed the (rather disturbing) ape pencil sharpener would go to CC. But Shockk intervened and called all three finalists to the front of the stage. On the count of three (or maybe four, in my case), we drew one or two fingers, and the odd man out would win. I decided before the count that I would show two fingers. And I won. I celebrated my victory heartily, but inside I felt bad for CC, whom IÕve always respected. Watching him at the Cottage Bistro several years ago trying to play ÒNever Talking To You AgainÓ with SRÕs disruptive drumming was one of the more moving displays of onstage survival IÕve witnessed. And Hey Kristian, whose brotherÕs band laid down a thoroughly enjoyable set of jazz fusion earlier in the evening, was also a worthy competitor. Hails to all of them! The pencil sharpener will be placed on a pedestal beneath the chandelier to become the focal point of the new apartment. .: posted by The Mule 4:06 PM
Carl Fatman dismantles Shockk in Bubble hockey July 26, 2002 It was the Brickyard on Thursday July 25th and Stoke had just stepped off stage. Needing to fill the high octane void that was left in the wake of a brief stoke set legendary reporter Carl Fatman and ace guitar player Shockk set to do battle. Shockk with only one shot on net all game was left to panic under the offensive attack of Carl Fatman. Now the goddamn game cost one dollar and it only lasted long enough for Carl Fatman to pop in 2 quick goals.. What is this world coming to.. I know bubble hockey and I'm saying that that machine has been fucked with by some greedy scum sucking nitwit.. I will not buy! Oalk Reece
New Roadbed Quiz in the works July 22, 2002 Back by popular demand August 1 will be known as exam night. Those coming to catch sets by Funkshun and ROADBED at the Railway club on August first will find themselves taking an examination. Prizes will include Roadbed wear, Roadbed music, and an Ape pencil Sharpener. It will be the second in a series of "tests" given by the band to the fanbase... Although Headmaster Super Robertson took numerous complaints that the last test was too hard (34% average) King Dinosaur had this to say "I know you better than you know yourself" when he walked away with the Roadbed Recipe book. In a statement Given to Carl Fatman Super Robertson predicted this test to be harder.. " Like I mean WE gave all of the obvious questions last time.. Things like where does Roadbed rehearse?.. and what was the first Roadbed release?.. like I mean Christ if you don't know that the answers are ..The Shockcenter and Things went wrong what the hell are you doing". Bets are that Mule Hughes will take the top prize.. Although don't count out Willingdon Black, Smash, The Vo Bros. and quite possibly CT. The test will be all multiple choice so remember when in doubt guess.. As this time the wrongs will not be subtracted from the rights
Hey Rock takes and official Shock center Swirly July 10, 2002 Known doormat Hey Rock made his debut back at the Shockcenter (after his 8 month ban had been served) on Wednesday July 9 2002. The former Rubicon frontman now has his own band rumored to be titled Hey Rock and the stone grooves. Hey Rock and the Stone Grooves are rumored to have a show in mid August. This rumor was confirmed at the Shockcenter when hey rock approached various Roadbed members to fill in on drums. Sources close to the Roadbed camp say that Two Sticks Hobbs will be playing the show... but the big news came when Shockk and Super Robertson administered an official Shockcenter swirley. A Shockcenter swirley is complete when the victim's head is under the water cooler getting soaked. In an unbelievable turn of events the Roadbed web site has become updated Super Robertson in mental Hospital July 7, 2002 Roadbed bass player Super Robertson checked into the Lynx head recovery center around midday today.. News from the Roadbed Camp seems to be that Mr. Robertson has a bad attitude. Unable to cut it in the real world Super Robertson set course as an artist years ago. Run down by the obstacles of normality Super Robertson finds himself bitter and unable to enjoy life... that of course until Dr. J.B Lemmon set him straight this afternoon with a stern lecture. In a marquee speech he paralleled the Jedi force from the famous movie Star Wars to the Roadbed cause. Super Robertson left the Lynx Recovery Center so shocked up he almost forgot his prescription. Shockk"s secret new project Revealed.. An Oalk Reece exclusive..July 7, 2002 My examination of the evidence is now complete... New DNA has been left at the Shockcenter. Davis Snape head Biochemist of Canada Lynx Records came up with new DNA in his monthly sweep of the Shockcenter. Upon closer inspection I found a Tascam 8 track recorder, a strip of masking tape, and the words "better you than me" written in sharpie marker. The DNA suggest that of a highly skilled Hockey player... therefore a team player. I believe there is reasonable cause to suggest that Shockk is undertaking a project with "Rippin Young Clark's" frontman RC. Shockk is doing his part in fulfilling the Roadbed Mantra.. WE are required by special pact to inspire each other with displays of productivity. Interior Design set to play the Starrydynamo May 17th... Ace guitarist and sometime Roadbed band leader has cemented a spot into the hearts of the Starrydynamo Owners with his act "Interior design".... In fact his reputation is so great he has invited Super Robertson to open the show with what is being billed "Folkrobertson". God only knows what that means..
the stary dynamo 4342 main St... ambient music by Shockk
The Purple Onion Screws Roadbed again.. May 13, 2002 First it was to be April 11.. Then it was to be June 13.. but it is not going to be at all. Roadbed shows at the Purple Onion have been canceled due to "The room needing to be used for Music Industry types". All this after Roadbed has distributed flyers and had web postings with those dates. Jay from Seaside productions apologized profusely for this claiming it was out of his control. As of this date there are no further Purple Onion dates booked. Oalk Reece
Motorcycle Man rocks South Burnaby...May 5, 2002 Gordon Snape... exiled 21 tandem repeats marketing man was stunned to witness a basement annihilation by the one and only Motorcycle Man. Word back to the Canada Lynx camp was that the Motorcycle Man put on a full show in the basement of the residence of Mr. T AKA Troy Tallion. The show was in honor of "Empyria Mike" who is leaving Vancouver to take up residence in Salmon Arm. It is reported that Empyria Mike will be Working in Salmon Arm as a butcher.
Known swindler Snookers Roadbed bass player..May 1, 2002 The story is so ugly it cannot be written about. Oalk Reece
Roadbed goes to Haight and Ashbury Roadbed members were seen living it up in the city of San Francisco... and in there wake a dozen or so Copies of the release Knockout Hits got shocked to the scene. There were no bootie shenanigan's... no real talk just the quiet whisper distribution processes that Roadbed is known for. Super Robertson, Shockk and Veteran reporter Carl Fatman went for some grilled cheese sandwiches at the Famous Reds Java house. Their conversation was Tran scripted and it read: SR - It is definitely a black Crowned Night heron... it was even showing the long head plume feathers of a mating bird. S- Oh yea did you see the size of those feathers... huge, what did you call them super? SR- Head Plume Feathers CF- Egrets have head plume feathers as well.. is that True? S- Super! Carl's asking you a question SR- I believe Egrets do have large head plume feathers... it think they look different.. in the sense that they are shorter and more upright S and CF- Huh.. What the how going does that mean? Editors note... The term "how going" seems to be some sort of a Canada Lynx Records slang talk.
Roadbed and Stoke rock the Railway club March 28, 2002 Sleuth reporter Oalk Reece was seen mingling with veteran sceensters on Thursday March 28 but when the show started the mingling stopped. That is the one thing you rarely see anymore with live music.. People paying attention and enjoying the show.. Hell even participating. There was dancing to the Stoke set which included some numbers with Hey Kristiin on trumpet. Lead guy Willingdon Black was on top of it, Andy had the stick twirls, and Smash was his usual rock solid on bass.... Roadbed took the stage to the delight of the crowd and opened the show with Carolina... the band was on from the first note and the crowd was mesmerized. Ace guitarist Shockk proved once again that he very well could be the best guitar player in the world. This of course is a heavy statement but none the less.... Oalk Reece calls them as he hears them. • • • Super Robertson gets stitched - March 18, 2002 A knife "show and tell" went all wrong Monday Morning... Al Nermesti AKA "big dumb galoot" snuck up beside Super Robertson to show him his new camping knife and next thing you know there was blood everywhere. Supposedly Big dumb galoot was just anxious to show known woodsman Super Robertson his new hunting knife.. unfortunately however super Robertson operating with his peripheral vision thought he was under attack and about to be shot with a rubber band (again)... As a result Super Robertson administered a counterattack that met a quick end and a disastrous fate cutting his hand for six stitches.
Team Robertson makes a strong showing in bowling - March 10, 2002 A fundraiser for the Canada Post hockey team was held on March 9th at the Grandview Bowling lanes in Vancouver B.C... Team Robertson consisting of two sticks hobbs, team Dunn, Gforce, A.Battersby and Super Robertson held strong until the affects of booze crippled the team. One of the last recollection's of the night was a two man attack by Gforce and SR as they raced down the laneway and released balls... Gforce has a good toss bouncing only twice before knocking all but one pin down, while Super Robertson whipped a high errant gutterball that went into the gutter with such force that it flew back out and took down the last standing pin... Team Robertson was celebrating heavily when the festivities were cut short by the owners of the bowling lanes uttering final ultimatums. It seemed that team Robertson was cited for numerous infractions... one involving Jude when he chose to do a running headfirst dive releasing the ball on contact with the alley, another incident occurred when TR of team Dunn almost put a ball into the groin of Rev Dick Badcock who was being his usual smartass self. There were also rumors of marijuana use by certain team members. When asked about this by sleuth reporter Oalk Reece SR replied... "no man, that's Illegal".
Super Robertson goes ape...March 6, 2002 A disturbance was registered in an otherwise quiet neighborhood in Vancouver B.C. on Wednesday night. It seems the at the local residences were treated to a little colour when Roadbed bass player Super Robertson went wild with a mad tantrum. Most of the damage seemed to be in audio format .... fuck, shit and the word hate were broadcast from a rooftop. One had to notice the severe eye twitch suffered By Super Robertson when asked about Printers and surfing the Net by sleuth reporter Oalk Reece. Oalk Reece - "Super Robertson, there was a report of a disturbance coming from your abode... what do you have to say" SR "I don't recall anything"
Roadbed rocks new song "I got a new tent"... Was that truly a new song "I got a new tent" or just some good natured ribbing directed towards Gforce.... either way it was a fresh attack and the microphone nearly got smashed.... the Show opened with a Drum, Bass and trumpet jam then moved into a Roadbed Instrumental demonstration... then an improv clinic with drums, guitar , bass, trumpet and some piano on occasion... then the show closed as a classic Roadbed Rock show which included the new number "I got a new tent" and closed with a bass and vocal version of Bengal Tiger. In the rafters like a raven Sleuth Reporter Oalk Reece took in the "Roadbed with Hey Kristian" Clinic at El Cocal on February 9th.... The amazing thing about the gig was that Roadbed allowed local drunkard known to some as "gold toothed mackie" to get up and scold the already generous crowd to give more money stating that "cummon guys there is a lot of shrapnel in here.... how bout some fins" . When asked why this was allowed to happen band kingpin Super Robertson was quoted as saying " I sincerely regret not grabbing the jug of money, buying that guy a beer, and thanking one of the best crowds I have played for .. but i didn't the next thing I know the set is over and there are some bills in an envelope"......
Gforce Creative credited for Roadbed success: Legendary Reporter Carl Fatman is crediting Gforce Creative for the recent popularity of the band Roadbed... according to Carl Fatman the webmaster known as Gforce has garnered the band more attention worldwide than any local dipshit shows. Drummer Two Sticks Hobbs likens gforce to a pitbull saying "once he gets his jaws on something he will gnaw it until its done"... Band kingpin Super Robertson added "that guy doesn't do anything half assed.. It's a real boom or bust situation"... Ace guitarist Shockk was busy pricing bananas and thus could not comment. Hey Rock back in the loop: Veteran pincushion Hey Rock has been penciled in for a Jam at the Shockcenter.... The Canada Lynx elders had a meeting and have decided to lift his suspension... this news came shortly after Hey Rock and Super Robertson played some hockey together. Super Robertson managed to get a few slashes in on Hey Rock even though they played on the same team. 21 Tandem Repeats done Canada Lynx act "21 Tandem Repeats" has begun the slow distribution process of the CD "A series of 7 three peat's"... Distribution consultant Gordon Snape offered this "there are some people that are going to get one because of who they are what they have done and they will also be for sale... best pre-ordered through this website for a cost of $20." When alerted to the costs lead guy Super Robertson had this to say " Holy shit 20 bones I guess we won't be moving too many of those" ... It seems that the people at Canada LynxRecords are "hand making" this release in an attempt to avoid having more boxes of CD's in the office. Super Robertson AKA King Super Robertson doesn't seem to care if anybody hears it anyway stating "It's done and it is now time for a new albatross around the old neck" Roadbed survives round one February 8, 2002 Veteran band Roadbed stunned the crowd at the Backstage lounge thursday night (7th) and as a result moved on to compete in the semi finals of the Survival of the Bands on February 21st. Oalk Reece sleuth reporter had this diagnosis...... Roadbed really woke the crowd up... they were silent... some looked perplexed... the last song "Bengal Tiger" went off like a stick of dynamite .. and then it was over! Echo survives attack: February 6, 2002 Two sticks hobbs' cat and Canada lynx feline representative was found mangled and close to death Sunday morning... When taken to the vet it was discovered she had been shot with a pellet gun and then attacked by raccoons. Word has it that 3 orphaned young raccoons are working together hunting Cats near City hall in Vancouver as 6 cats have suffered multiple bites in the tail and hind regions... always a scrappy one Echo is the first cat to pull through... how she got back up her cat ladder seems to be a wonder of will ... although she is in rough shape she is expected to make a recovery. Interior design show: Feb. 23 @ the stary dynamo 4342 main St... ambient music by Shockk
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| 12/03/2001 Motorcycle Man keeps rolling The Motorcycle Man continued his domination of citr Shindig 2001 on Tuesday November 20 with another decisive victory moving on to the finals. Distinguished reporter Carl Fatman was on hand to witness the said clinic. Motorcore was in a frenzied state and the Railway club was packed full of disciples... Carl Fatman, in an interview with a woman named "cookie" got to the heart of the issue and in a defining statement found out that motorcycle man is considered to be the "well of cool". Motorcycle Man will compete in the Shindig finals at the railway club on December 4th |
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Super Robertson's bike has been stolen from outside the Railway Club, this occurred Tuesday Oct. 9th.... it is a blue K2 with yellow RST front shocks and a shock on the seat post I believe the frame size is"Extra big" or something along those lines. A bounty will be offered upon the return of the bike and the scalp, genitals, or vital internal organs of the culprits. In other Roadbed news A Shockcenter Jam session was canceled due to bitterness and lack of transportation.... when asked his thoughts on recent events Super Robertson had this to say .. " i think this could be another example of an omen, or possibly there was trouble ahead with my upcoming ride home so the spirit gods did what was necessary to derail my course".... |
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10/09/2001 Motorcycle man is set to play the Railway Oct. 16. • Carl Fatman gets laughed out of Toronto but not before he finds his calling...A video golf junkie. Two sticks Hobbs gets a 5 pound haircut in England and is being courted to drum for a marching band. • Shockk keeps it real and wins his first round of Shindig with his new band Restore..... the show was described as a "power clinic" by a onetime used car salesman Jim bob Lemmon. And Super Robertson Goes it alone in a solo acoustic effort/ spoken word disaster At the Anza club opening for Restore and Rubicon..... The Rubicon CD release party was a smashing success.... Hey Rock had to admit that it was all due to the last minute pep talk administered by Super Robertson who reminded them of the basics minutes before they took the stage.... the pep talk was recorded but some of it was muffled.. a rough transcription read... "OK guys you know what you're doing, you have played together for years... you trust each others abilities... don't rush it.. Listen.. Find your place with each other.. And remember in the end nobody really gives a shit.. And I mean that in the best possible way..." it was at that time the microphone was bumped and what sounded like a skirmish developed... the sounds of fists on flesh and one could feel a new Rubicon unity appear...This was evident in the Show.. Until midway through the show when Super Robertson appeared on stage with hey rock's newly tuned guitar .. "what the fuck is that guy doing on stage again" yelled an audience member... |
| 10/08/2001 Roadbed CDs are now available at Zulu records - 1972 west 4th Ave. Van BC |
| 09/02/2001 Percussionist and favourite of the ladies Chris Hobbs leaves later this month on a much anticipated journey of self-discovery as he crosses the globe from Paris and London on to the mighty Himilaya and the Indian sub-continent. What strange secrets will he return with? Meanwhile the remaining members can only remember his warm smile and amicable persona with fondness until he returns just before the new year, and busy themselves with solo projects; sure to complicate band relations in the future. See ya later hobb. |
| The lyrics for Knockout Hits are now posted on the Discography page along with the lyrics for Represented. find out what Shockk and Robertson are goin' on about. Any transcription errors are those of the PC Doctor, and will be sorted out as they are found |
| 08/22/2001 The hairiest member of Roadbed has shaved himself. What better reason to be at the next show...? |
| 08/07/2001 2:25 PM - The STOKE SUMMER STOMP on August 4th at the Anza Club in Vancouver was a great party, attended by many and enjoyed by all. ... First up were Rubicon, who turned in a laid-back but characteristically polished set of melodic and catchy rock. They traded instruments, shared vocal duties, and generally got down in true Rubicon fashion. Roadbed's "Super" Robertson joined them onstage "brief"ly, showing admirable get-naked-and-dance spirit or maybe some kind of twisted punishment for Rubicon starting their set with Roadbed's classic "Deep Fried"? Strange events indeed. More surprises came in the form of hand drummers jamming in the middle of their set and guitarist Jaggy J's wild break-dancing afterwards. Great work Rubicon! ... Broken Nose could not tour due to very unfortunate events back in Edmonton and we were disappointed not to be able to host them or catch their show. Happy birthday anyway Al. We'll hook-up with you guys some other time. ... STOKE played next, going full bore at an Anza full of folks. The set was Plaid Porn, Anneka, Toya (new), Idyll, Ditchpig, Spray, The Black Sorrows, and Hastings Express. We had a great time playing and are humbled by the kudos we received afterwards. Much thanks! ... Roadbed headlined, and it is a testimonial to their usual great performance that they kept people partying down into the wee hours. As always their set was varied, their fashion remarkable, and their jazz/rock guru status was further solidified as they goaded the audience into verbal battles over whether they should next play a rock tune or a jazz tune, with one fan even comparing them to the legendary Uzeb! Rubicon's "Champ" joined Roadbed on the mic for the last verse of their encore number, a lounge-y take on "Bingo". ... Legendary documentary filmmaker Carl Fatman was there with camera and crew and was seen dancing up a storm. Should be some great footage. ... Profound thanks to those who came to party, to Steve & the Anza Club, Roadbed and Rubicon, the postering crew (Shockk, Super, Mai, W. Black), 2Sticks Hobbs for the drums, W. Lee for taking photos, Sue, and all hail John Lui The Destroyer for his tour-de-force work on sound! |
| courtesy of Smash: check out STOKE at MP3.com for downloads, more show news and upcoming show dates- STOKE@MP3.com |
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| contact Roadbed at info@roadbedonline.com |
| © Roadbed Music 2001-2003 |
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